I’m sitting in a coffee shop in a small city called Chumpon in southern Thailand writing over on a iced latte I got for ฿60 ($1.5). A couple minutes after I ducked into the shop it started dumping rain like I’d only ever seen a few times in my life. I’m so lucky it didn’t start until I was indoors otherwise my laptop and I would be drenched. The thunder sounds like an earthquake and the air is sweet and thick and animals are everywhere! In the past 24 hours I’ve seen cows, giant tortoises, geckos the size of my finger, fluffy cats, and stray dogs.

To Chumpon

I arrived here last evening via a $14 bus trip from Bangkok classic Thai style, two hours later than the expected arrival time. It was a little confusing! I wasn’t 100% sure I was even getting on the right bus to be honest so I’m glad I even arrived at the right destination. I wandered through the bus terminal for counter 40 that was listed on my email reservation. Ultimately it ended up being at an entirely different counter!

I did find where to get my ticket- from a women talking on the phone who didn’t say a word to me. She glanced at my conformation number, handing me my pass, and waved me on without seeing my passport or any identification. At the platform I showed some official looking guy my ticket. I tried to confirm with my broken Thai, “pom pai Chumpon”, and he assured me it was right but he ushered me into a bus which was parked on a different platform than my ticket showed.

We got stuck in traffic for a long time leaving Bangkok, with the bus weaving in and out of traffic, laying on the horn liberally. I sat next to an Indian teenager and his family and he napped stretched out most of the ride, our legs sweaty and stuck together. We stopped at a station in Hua Hin where a woman with a megaphone ushered us off the bus with “hong naaaam, hong naaaam” and I followed the path to my first experience using a squat toilet. After that the next 4 or 5 hours were pretty quiet but we kept pulling over to let on or off random people and for the police to check the bus staffs’ documents.

Arriving in Chumpon, tired and confused, I was greeted with motorbike taxi guys trying to give rides to the few western tourists exiting the bus. I stuffed everything in my hands into my already full backpack and jumped on the back of his bike and he weaved through the streets for a few minutes before dropping me off and waiting while I awkwardly fished my coin pouch out of my bag for the ฿40 I owed him. Once he drove away I checked Google maps and realized I was still a few blocks away from my hostel but it was okay because I got to scope out the street food scene I was hungry for.

Now I’m in Chumpon and I’ll be here until tomorrow evening. At that point I’ll take a van to the ferry dock and an overnight boat to a tiny island called Koh Tao where I’ll snorkel, swim, hike the jungle, and drink on the beach. Tourists often skip Chumpon and go straight through to the islands so I was greeted by an empty dorm and I’m the only white person I’ve seen walking the streets!

It’s surreal to be here but also so normal. It feels like I’ve been in Thailand ages but it’s only really been about a week after my loooong 30 hour journey to Bangkok.

To Tokyo, Singapore, and then Bangkok

A lot happened during my travels over to Thailand and it was a whirlwind but here are the highlights-

• Meeting an older gay guy from LA on the plane ride to Tokyo and chatting about life and relationships
• Trying to order food and drinks in Japanese on that same flight to Tokyo
• Landing in Tokyo and walking through the gate where airport staff waited to escort important passengers, bowing their heads at each passenger exiting the plane – this is the moment where it really hit me that I was no longer in America
• The indoor smoking room in the airport in Tokyo
• Eating copious amounts of complementary food and meat on my plane rides combined and feeling ill on the plane from Tokyo to Singapore

• Landing in Singapore at 2 am and finding an outdoor sunflower garden/smoking area where the Southeast Asian humidity hit me like a train
• Meeting a 19 year old out there who just got done working in Death Valley and who was on his way to Vietnam to do the Ha Giang motorbike loop

• Finding a place to nap in the airport and almost falling asleep when Singapore airport police approached me doing a security check asking for my passport and if I was traveling alone????
• Being so so nervous about approaching immigration in Bangkok when in reality I just greeted the officer in Thai and she took my biometrics, stamped my passport, and waived me through

Bangkok

When I arrived at first I felt excited, confident, and full of energy but eventually the extreme heat (40 degrees celsius!) and long travel with only a couple short and not very restful naps set in. There were definitely a few days in my hostel where I felt exhausted, nauseous, and a little doubtful of my decision to just come to a random country alone. Like what the fuck was I doing there?? This did last through the weekend but I pushed myself to be vulnerable and open up about this feeling to other travelers.

People are so kind, generous, and helpful- everyone had advice and reassurance. By my third day in Bangkok I was hanging out and exploring all day with new Thai friends working at the hostel and new friends from all around the world.

I stayed at Ti Thong hostel. Everyone who works there is great, helpful, and super friendly and prices are really cheap!! The location is in the heart of Bangkok old town with very local food and touristy stuff a nearby walk away. I paid around $8 US per night for a bed in a 10 person dorm with AC on the first floor (with the lobby outside) and slept pretty well.

I extended my stay twice (because I couldn’t make my mind up about where I wanted to go next) and the last night moved to 6 person dorm on the fourth floor which was even better, I coincidentally had the room to myself and the floor was silent all night because it wasn’t near the lobby, for less than $1 more. I appreciated that the hostel had more of a digital nomad vibe than party, with people working using wifi through the day and night. There still were social activities and outgoing folks who wanted to explore together. I highly recommend this hostel!

It was so fun to be around so many outgoing, friendly people and to have new experiences together.

While in Bangkok

• Got two massages, a traditional Thai one (It wasn’t too ha!!) and a foot massage (by a very cute guy) where they gave my friend and I pillows shaped like 2 boobs to lay between

• Wandered around three beautiful temples

• Explored Yaowarat (Bangkok Chinatown)

• Talked about coffee and being a barista using a mix of Thai and Google translate and rejected an offer to come behind the bar and make my drink because I was nervous haha
• Bought a Patagonia mini hip pack from Chatnuchak weekend market, not sure if it’s real or not but it holds my stuff and was $13ish!!
• Shopped for clothes in multiple markets and negotiated for discounts in Thai
• Paid ฿40 (~$1) to the tailor in the same alley as my hostel to hem some pants I bought, communicating fully in Thai. I asked her to hem to 66cm/26in which is my inseam. She seemed confused and surprised, and when I went to pick up my pants they were a lot shorter than I expected. Then I realized she thought I meant 66cm total length not crotch to ankle like I wanted but the pants are maybe cooler this way now hahaha
• Wandered around Lumpini Park where we spotted Komodo dragons wandering around and so so many stray cats

• Went with my friend to a very local market outside Bangkok in Nonthaburi where she helped me try a bunch of new foods (durian, spicy noodles, sausage)
• Walked 37 miles/60 kilometers in the week I spent in Bangkok doing all this

Standout food in Bangkok

• Moo ping – ฿10 ($.27) each and ฿10 ($.27) for a bag of rice. Sweet pork sticks from the ladies on the street at Trok Mor morning market and bags of sticky rice to eat with it. Classic delicious Thai breakfast.
• Shrimp and crab dumplings – ฿50 ($1.40) from vendor in the same market. Sweet fish wrapped in a dumpling with a sweet soy based dipping sauce.
• Cha yen / Thai iced tea – ฿30-45 ($.80-1.20) from street vendors. I drank so much at so many different spots and it tastes less artificial and a little more mellow in the sweet department with condensed milk and an evaporated milk top as opposed to the half n half we use in America

• Khao niew ma muang / mango sticky rice – ~฿70 (~$2) at Chatnuchak weekend market. Sticky rice with sweet, viscous coconut milk on top and on the side. The mango is completely different than the States, it’s rich and buttery and melts in your mouth.

• Pad ga prow gai / holy basil stir fry with chicken – Ate for ~฿70 (~$2) at a street restaurant, this is the real national food of Thailand (Also with moo/pork and served with a fried egg), not pad Thai haha. So fresh and comforting with the basil and the chicken had great flavor

• Pad Thai gai (chicken) – ฿220 ($6) from Thipsamai resturant, food was delicious and our waiter was great and knew all the American Tiktok slang. It was very expensive for Thailand though and definitely catering to western tourists. The peanuts were freshly roasted and it was served with a bottle of lime juice and a banana blossom to eat on the side which I haven’t seen in the States. A amazing blend of textures and just a little spicy.

• Khao pad goong / shrimp fried rice – ฿100 ($2.70) from street restaurant in Yaowarat. Eggs were cooked perfectly and the dish came out so fast. I just wish it had more lime wedges, I love sour food and vinegary tastes!

• Som tham / papaya salad, braised pork and rice – ฿50 ($1.40) per dish from Rosaroi PhraNakhon รสอร่อย พระนคร. Maybe my favorite food I ate in Bangkok. The pork melted in my mouth and the som tham had the perfect amount of fish sauce and chillies, it was warming on my stomach but not too spicy!
• Chang beer – ฿55 ($1.45) from 7-11. There are only three beers in Thailand and this one and Singha are the only good ones

I am enjoying the food but it’s also so different than the States- taste, texture, temperature- and I think my body and appetite is still adapting. I’m eating smaller portions than I use to!

Speaking Thai

I studied Thai casually via Youtube and help from friends (Thank you KD) on and off for a few months before coming to Thailand and I would say it has been very helpful but maybe not 100% necessary if you are staying in just Bangkok because most other travelers I’ve met get by speaking absolutely no Thai. Even though it may not be fully necessary I think I would feel a lot more nervous and confused if I didn’t speak any Thai so in a way I admire the tenacity of those who have just come here speaking nothing. They just point and gesture and nod and mostly get things they need.

That being said, for me personally it is really important to make an attempt at speaking the local language during my travels. I’m fascinated by language learning and it is an essential part of what I would consider ethical travel. Even just learning a few words like greetings and thank you. I didn’t take studying very seriously before coming but I picked up a little Thai and I continue to absorb more everyday.

I would recommend if you come to Thailand to at least learn to say hello – Sawadee ka/krub and thank you – khob kun ka/krub.

My Thai level is very transactional and I can’t really get to know anyone well but I can buy things and communicate my food needs (Sweetness levels, spicy levels etc.). At this point I’m expecting to be in Thailand for around two months and my goal by the end of my time here is to have some reading comprehension and to able to have less transactional and more personal conversations.

Generally I am understood by Thai people but sometimes I have to repeat myself or change the words I use a little. A couple times I have had miscommunications with people (taxis dropping me off at the wrong place or the hemming situation!) but nothing serious and it’s all been fun. Mostly we all just laugh and smile when we are trying to figure out what each other is trying to say.

Sometimes I will start speaking Thai and the person I’m talking to will assume I know more than I do and talk really fast too. Overall I feel like Thai people are happy when foreigners try to speak Thai because like I said earlier, a lot of people don’t make an effort to speak any because it is a pretty difficult language.

On being a queer foreigner in Thailand

So far my experience being queer in Thailand has been mostly uneventful. I did research around being trans and queer before coming to Thailand and know a little bit about the culture around it but didn’t really know what it would actually be like once I got here.

It seems like generally I am read as a queer/gay man by Thai locals and other travelers but that’s pretty similar to my experience in the States. I did just have a older gay Thai man approach me before coming into this cafe complementing me which was flattering and confusing. It seems that culturally people are a lot more comfortable with casual physical touch than in the States which I’m not super used to but open to.

I knew a little about the culture around ladyboys/kathoey before coming here and I’m learning more about it as time goes on. It is somewhat similar to our culture around trans women in the States but it seems most Thai people generally view kathoey more as a “third sex” rather than as just women (some kathoey see themselves as women and some see themselves as a different sex/gender).

I have read online about Tom culture as well but haven’t met anyone who identifies as a tom or knows any toms so I can’t speak on it very much. From what I understand tom typically is more akin to the western concept of butch/lesbian women who dress masculine, date fem people, and may or may not be on hormones, get top surgery, or use masculine pronouns (pom in Thai). Some identify more as men for sure but generally it seems that many see themselves as women still at the end of the day.

I don’t think I would feel correct or comfortable in telling Thai people that I am a tom plus I don’t have any language or need to communicate my identity so I have been generally stealth about my trans-ness.

All that being said, take my observations with a grain of salt because I am a foreigner and still learning a lot since I just got here! I will never understand truly what it is like to be queer and Thai in Thailand. I’m sure there are Thai trans men who view there identity similar to me. I see a lot of kathoey around and other queer folks but I don’t speak enough Thai and they don’t speak English to connect on a personal level. I’m hoping to meet more queer people here though- foreign and Thai! I haven’t met many yet.

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Thank you again for getting through this post and I look forward to sharing more about my experience in Thailand as time goes on. I would love to hear your thoughts and let me know if you have any questions.

I am unemployed and currently traveling off my savings because ultimately it is cheaper to travel slowly than to live in the US! If you enjoyed reading and feel inclined you can send a little USD, euros, pounds, baht, or whatever you’d like my way. I am learning a lot about writing and social media and it’s a dream of mine to be able to support myself off of writing and small gigs!!